Listening for Love
I had this article somewhere in my hard disk, had read it in TOI and liked it.
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words “I love you”. So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say take care or don’t drive too fast or be good.
But really, these are just the other ways of saying I love you. You are important to me. We are sometimes very strange people. The only things we want to say, and the one thing we should say, is the one thing we don’t say. And yet bcoz the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and the meaning never gets communicated at all so the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments, which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says “I love you’ even though the words might be saying very different.
The problem in listening for love is that we don’t always understand the language of love, which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her bcoz he expects her to be talking his language.
Simon and Garfunkel wrote that very haunting song, “the sound of silence”. It is a terrifying picture of our modern world, a world without communication and without love. We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize.
22 Oct 08
There are times when we are timid and shy about expressing the love we feel. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or ourselves, we hesitate to say the actual words “I love you”. So we try to communicate the idea in other words. We say take care or don’t drive too fast or be good.
But really, these are just the other ways of saying I love you. You are important to me. We are sometimes very strange people. The only things we want to say, and the one thing we should say, is the one thing we don’t say. And yet bcoz the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, we are driven to use other words and the meaning never gets communicated at all so the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted.
Therefore, we have to listen for love in the words that people are saying to us. Sometimes the explicit words are necessary, but more often the manner of saying things is even more important. A joyous insult carries more affection and love within the sentiments, which are expressed insincerely. An impulsive hug says “I love you’ even though the words might be saying very different.
The problem in listening for love is that we don’t always understand the language of love, which the other person is using. A girl may use tears or emotions to say what she wants to say, and her boyfriend may not understand her bcoz he expects her to be talking his language.
Simon and Garfunkel wrote that very haunting song, “the sound of silence”. It is a terrifying picture of our modern world, a world without communication and without love. We have to listen for love in those around us. If we listen intently we will discover that we are a lot more loved than we realize.
22 Oct 08
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